On his first day of nursery school, the teacher said our son, James, paced back and forth along the fence of the playground, saying to himself, “This is a disaster. This is a disaster.” My wife, Lynne, and I needed to help him adjust, but how? The teacher gave us something positive to hold on to each week, and months later, we were happy to learn that James “married” Jane. According to the teacher, they married in the tree house on the playground, where they held hands and swayed. The boy could count on having a new friend at his new school.
That day, when James came home, he built a tower of blocks. He stood before the blocks, clapped his hands and said it was as tall as him. He’s learning how to make friends, Lynne and I thought. But the following week, James sat on the living room floor turning a block over and over in his hands, and asked, “Why doesn’t she want to talk to me anymore?” The situation gave us the opportunity to give him something more important to his self-image than an answer to his question.
Click here to read the rest of the essay in The Huffington Post.